Ever since I was in my teens, I always knew I wanted to have 3 kids especially since I am one of 3 myself. However, after having Anyhow, what's funny is that all of my friends that are my age are all calling me stupid to want to have more especially since I have one of each. But, all of Mr M's friends who are slightly older are all wanting to have at least 3 or 4 kids. Moreover, most of his friends have said they've regretted not having more kids (after stopping at 2). I've yet to hear anyone tell me that they've regret having 3 kids (when they should've just stopped at 2).
When Davina was about 3 months, I said to Mr M, I think I'm done, we can close shop now. However, to my surprise, Mr M replied 'what? Actually I think it'll be nice to have 3 kids.. '. I was perplexed. So...It was back to square one again. Two or Three? Apparently two kids are still manageable. As soon as you go to three kids, it is utter chaos and mess at every turn! It is definitely much harder than it looks and many ppl have
Nonetheless, after interviewing at least 20 ppl who have two kids/three kids, I have come to a conclusion that a Party of Five is far better and more joyous than a Party of Four! Therefore, I have finally made up my mind & God willing, a Party of Five it is! Here are all the reasons why having 3 children is far better off than just settling with 2:
Advantages for the siblings:
1) From own personal experience, whenever there is sibling rivalry (eg. either between my 2 bros or me and one of the bros), there is always the 3rd one who stands on no man's land. Their neutral opinion always help to mend the two at rivalry back together.
2) There's definitely more pros with having more siblings than less. Fair enough when you're growing up, you wish you had none especially when your two bros would use you as a punching bag cos you were the only and youngest girl in the family (yes, I'm deeply traumatised!!). But when you become adults, you realise, wow, the more siblings, the merrier especially during festive seasons and big moments in your life like birthday milestones, marriage, births of your child(ren) etc etc! What's more, if they all start to reproduce their offspring, you have more nieces & nephews to spoil (*wink wink to my SIL & Bro). And then, from the nieces/nephews point of view, the more cousins the more merrier etc etc. It's a chain reaction!
Advantages for the parents:
1) From my aunty (who's retired), she tells me 'whenever two goes away either overseas or live far away from our home, there will always be the one that comes back/stays put. After all, when you're old, the one thing that makes you happy and looking forward to your day is seeing your (adult) child(ren) come back to visit you..
2) I have met at least three parents who's had two children and because of fate, they lose one child who were at their adult life... and then they are left with one. Now I don't want to be a pessimist, but I can't help to think that (God forbid) if that ever happens to me, half of my happiness would be robbed away from me and then all I would have left is that one child. That one child would be all we have left that would carry on our family's legacy. And to think that one child would be all alone one day when his/her parents go before him. And then what's more that one child would never have the chance to be a blood related aunty/uncle... double sigh.. The more I ponder on this thought, the more I am all ready to have 10 children! (ok not quite).
3) Cars usually come with 5 seats for a reason correct? If a family came in fours, then car manufacturers should've just designed cars with 4 seaters!
4) You get your money's worth for all the new things you buy for the 'set up' cost (eg. nursery, pram, clothes, uniforms, books etc) as it gets to be re-used three times & therefore amortization will be over a longer period :)
5) Children are such blessings from God. I find it very sad when I hear ppl saying 'I can't afford to have more than 1 child'. What the? If it's finances in the way of you creating more beautiful souls into this world, then I say forget the private education & just go public. Because the truth is, the joy that a child brings to a family is something that money can not buy!
So for all you folks who are adamant to settle on 2 kids or planning to have max. 2 kids, does the above change your mind? If yes, then what are you waiting for?? Go Forth & Multiply! It's short term pain, for long term gain I say ;)
What are your thoughts?
9 comments:
I go for 3! I came with a family of 3 kids and we have loads of fun! Three is a significant number in the Bible too - Father, The Son and The Holy Ghost! And for my case, one of my bro passed on, now just me and my youngest bro... it's lonely for my parents - he will be going back to the States.
If you hv both set of parents to help & support and financially ok, it is fine to hv 3. But w/o any help I confirmed 2 is enough, in fact too much for us to cope, very tough & challenging!
hahaha.... jus to plan for no.3 u hv to go thru so many interviews, reasoning etc etc etc ... normally wen ppl hv no.3 ... its always an ACCIDENT .. (period) rofl .... steph
oh forgotten something .... good on ya! its nice to hear u gona hv no.3 ... wen ar???? steph
After reading your article, I still have not changed my mind, still sticking to two, esp now that my girls are in school. But Peter Costello did say you should have one for the Mum, one for the Dad and one for the country. So, go for it! Good luck.
http://www.oureverydaythings.com/2011/04/pregnancy-going-ahead-with-planning-for-baby-3-despite/
that's my friend who initially wanted only 2, sharing how she decided to have #3
as for me... nope...stopped at 2. regretting having #2. but regret always comes late. so if I'm already regretting having #2, #3 for me is no, thank you
Definitely some pearls of wisdom there Mrs. M! I say go for 3! :D
By the time you have no.3, no.1 would be a tad more independent, so a little less hands on (hopefully). It is no doubt hard work, but so rewarding at the end of the day. :)
Wow! thanks everyone for your thoughts!
Amelia: What a great revelation about the number 3 hor? Yah then it's confirmed, I must have 3! lol. I hope you and your family are doing much better *hugs*
Anonymous: Thank you for sharing your view. I totally agree with you too. If it's extremely hard on your marriage and life in general, then yes, I commend you already for even having 2 kids!
Steph: Aiya, I'm very responsible one. No simply got accident. I must plan accordingly ;) As for when.. um.. not yet lah, I just got back to work only mah :)
Charm: UR still young, I'm sure you can still have another one. The 2 sisters will be a big jie jie to your potential 3rd child ;) I've always liked Peter Costello. He's a wise man in deed!
Siska: After reading your recent post about JL thanking you for working night shifts (which made me shed a tear), that was truly my wake up call that not everyone can have more than 2 kids esp when they don't have any help. I really take my hat off to you for how you've managed to look after 2 kids w no sleep at all! I really don't know how u do it cos I know I definitely can't. I will nominate you to take the Best Mother of the Century Award :)
Grace: I can't believe your little princess is 1 already! Everytime I see pics of your beautiful 3 kids, it always inspires me to have 3 too :) Happy birthday to you and your 3 kids in advance.
p/s I also take my hat off to you for throwing INDIVIDUAL parties to each of them even though they are born a few days apart!! wow.. lei hou geng in deed!
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